Rubbing my balls

So Bill Belichick stood before the podium and gave his best 10th grade science teacher presentation of why his team’s balls were deflated. If you know me by now, such a presentation causes a deadly glazing over of the eyes. Never went through a science class presentation fully awake. The use of the term atmospheric sealed the deal.

But then,  Bill started talking about the rubbing of the balls. Holy shit ! I’m back! How could you go from something I absolutely dread to something that I, as a 64 year old man, still think of as fondly as when I was 16?

As Bill droned on, my mind drifted back many decades to Sweet Mary Sue….a bit of Boone’s Farm, on the couch, parents away, Mary Sue reaching….STOP!

Ice bucket please.

Yes, Belichick blinded me with science… Evolution? Ha! These balls did not evolve!

So with all Belichick said, one question- Why did this only happen to the Patriots balls and not the Colts?

Awaiting your answer Mary Sue, I mean Belichick.


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