Chasing the lost boys of the Maldives
Feminism in the Ukraine
The next pandemic
Afghan war codebreakers
Of course, they do. They sound like Freshly Pressed story titles.
Were these titles written by real wordpress writers? Of course fucking not.
Story titles are randomly generated by a 1948 ENIAC computer and spit into a fishbowl.
They then are written up by wordpress editors and published on Freshly Pressed.
So, does that mean that none of us are published on Freshly Pressed? Yes!!
It’s a fucking hoax, I say.
It’s a way to keep idiots like me coming back to try to get to the ‘leader board’.
What was my epiphanous moment?
I read a Freshly Pressed article on fisting!!!
I have mentally ditch digged 130 stories, coughing up a lung for each one, and never sniffed Freshly Pressed.
But today, a young lady describes how she wants you to jam your fist up her ass (lotioned of course) and she makes the cut!
Phony alarms bounce off the walls!
Forget it, I say, if you dream of getting freshly pressed.