Flash: Can of corn kills school gunman

5 am.

Today.

Fox News (yes, wildly lib me watches Fox News).

Students in certain schools (must be the South!) are requesting that parents send in cans of vegetables to be used in case of a gunman attack.

????!!!!

Captures my attention in the majorest of ways.  I mean, what’s the plan, Rodney?

A video is shown.  A bad gunman enters a classroom. The students, with incredible accuracy, bombard the gunman with creamed corn and the always deadly (in more ways then one) sauerkraut.  Of course, Mohammed is totally immobilized and paralyzed by the side dish slam.  The video ends with all of the students closing in on the dented aggressor.

As always, I have questions-

1. Does Sweet Mary Sue grasp her pearl onions every minute of the day?

2. What if Mohammed has his own clip of vicious veggies?

3. Any particular brand more effective?  Perhaps Cream of Broccoli soup?

Believe me, I am googling this. Must know more.

http://lasvegassun.com/news/2015/jan/13/principal-advises-students-throw-canned-vegetables/

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