Wolf of Wall Street. Yikes!!!

“Dad, after Django, check out Wolf of Wall Street, DiCaprio great!”

“OK”

So I go to the YMCA, head for the exercise bikes, directly in front of the PACKED TREADMILLS, and run the movie on my phone.

Holy stinking crap!

In the first 30 seconds, DiCaprio receives oral sex in his car, followed by cocaine snorting from a hookers butt.

All fully visible to the treadmillers behind me.

I wildly grab for the phone, fumble it, and drop it, the hooker’s ass wildly gyrating in freefall. I pick up phone and slither out of the facility.

“Dear useless excuse for a son,
I followed your recommendation to watch Wolf of Wall Street (include YMCA fiasco here).”

“Dear Dad , I forgot that you find the thought of heterosexual activity viscerally repulsive, and that adult situations give you anxiety. I have picked a more appropriate movie for you below. Please enjoy.. attached is Adventure of Elmo in Grouchland”

I find the ELMO movie ok except the part with a carload of hookers and a suitcase full of coke.

I’m 64 years old, and the Wolf of Wall Street movie pushes my limits, even though it is really quite good. They must have hired a thousand hookers to work on this film.

Is this what my son aspires to be? A hedonistic,sex addicted, drug addicted, thrill addicted money addict? I don’t think I dare tell his mommy.

So here’s my advice, if you like your coffee strong and your whiskey straight, check out the Wolf of Wall Street. If you like milk with your cookies when you go to bed, check out Elmo. I’m still figuring out which way I’m going.

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