So you thought I was done with dodge ball? Really? Actually, it’s time to move on to the better stuff.
Mr. Cryer, our gym teacher, had worse things in store. Two things.
The first activity involved all of us getting into a circle facing in. A fellow would stand in the middle swinging a length of rope, ankle high, with a sneaker attached to the end.
Those unfortunate enough to be in the circle had to jump when the ‘roped’ sneaker came their way- or they would suffer the misfortune of having the rope wrap around their ankles. The guy in the middle would then ‘yank’ the rope, pulling the poor sucker violently onto his back. This activity continued for 20 minutes.
And what would Mr. Cryer do? He would sit on the bench, doubled over in tearful laughter.
But there was more!
Another activity involved, once again, a circle of students facing in. A student, holding a sneaker, circled the outside of the group. He would hand off the sneaker to one of the students, who proceeded to chase the person next to him, whacking him repeatedly on the ass.
In one case, a fast kid named Vito chased an ungainly kid named Gary. He whacked him into the next planet.
And Mr. Cryer roared.
In the shower room afterwards, we could not help but stare at Gary’s ass- completely covered with sneaker sized, purple welts.
As I previously mentioned, gym teachers were rewarded for this behavior. Many of them became principals!
Who were the losers?
Dear God, the Special Ed kids. They were savagely brutalized.
And, of course, those kids that were a step too slow, too fat, too whatever.
And what has become of the teachers?
Mostly dead from lung cancer.
Teaching gym in heaven.
Or maybe ….