I am the Deflator

wpid-wp-1431773036865.jpegIf you don’t watch professional football, you should start now. Stupidness is running through the nation like ebola thru the belgian congo.

The New England Patriots, and in particular their quarterback Tom Brady, have been charged with the intentional deflation of game footballs. This may not sound like a big deal, but just like Watergate, the cover up is far worse than the crime.

The National Football League conducted an investigation, finding the Patriots and Brady guilty, and they have imposed a penalty. A good part of the investigation deals with text messages exchanged by the Patriot ball boys, one of whom identifies himself as the Deflator. With that nickname, you might think the Patriots are guilty as charged.

Not so fast there, Padre. The Patriots, through their million dollar lawyer, issued a statement today that included lots of information. One particular piece of information tells the world that the deflator nickname does not mean he deflated footballs. What it really means is that he was a Chubsy wubsy guy who was looking to lose weight, or deflate.

I don’t know about you, but I always believe what a lawyer has to say. if he says ‘think weight loss’ then dagnabbit, that is what I will think.  The fact that footballs were deflated and his nickname was the Deflator is just an outrageous coincidence.

Now I know what you are thinking, this is the first time they have been charged with a crime, and everybody gets a mulligan. Well, I hate to say this, but the Patriots were caught videotaping opponents coaching signals in 2007. They called that episode Spygate. so now the Patriots have Spygate and Deflategate. But you are probably thinking that several of the other 31 teams have done the same type of thing. Well, you are a little bit correct. There have been some infractions for sure. But nothing like these two for the Patriots.

Another interesting finding by the Patriots million dollar lawyer. It seems as though Mr Brady called one ball boy 6 times after the story broke. This was preceded by months of no phone calls at all. One might think that Mr Brady was working out a plan to avoid a higher level of scrutiny.

But no. Mr lawyer said that Mr Brady called 6 times to express concern and support the ball boy now that the story had broke.

What a hell of a guy that Tom Brady is! Such concern for a low level ball boy.

So from now on, my nickname is the Deflator. I never deflated footballs, but I do have a bit of the chubbies, so therefore it will fit. As for the Patriots, it should be clearly understood now that they are not guilty of anything.

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