Oh, baby where yo’ muffin top?

wpid-wp-1430250697651.jpegNever sleep.


So late night TV is part of the deal (along with writing dopey stories).

So we always wind up, at 4 am, with paid programming.

And we start with ‘Do you have turkey neck?’

Now this message is for all of the dozens of young honeys who are reading this- some day you will get turkey neck. But there is help.

Rather then jam lawn darts in my eyes, I change the channel.  And it only gets better.


Chunky monkey girls wear these jeans- like items and poof!

‘No more muffin top.’

(That’s what Chunky babe said- I pinky swear).

So’s bein’ as how I’m lonely…

And cold…

And a tad stirred up…

I’s gets to dreamin’


Barry White on the stereo

Fire cracklin’

The smell of Woolworth’s perfume
(Google it)

Clothes flyin’ at the speed of lust

Zippers UN zippin’

“Oh, baby, baby, BABY!”, says I.

“Grunt!”, says she.

I start up NORTH…

And work my way SOUTH…

Evah sooo slowly…

And then…


“Baby, you ain’t got no muffin top!”

Let’s face it guys, we have all been there.

And for all you gals-

our creator ‘topped the muffin’ for a good reason.

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