I am the most interesting man in the world

-When I go to the donut shop, the girls know my order without asking

-When I wash my underwear, the holiest pairs always come out first

-Woodchucks like me, gerbils fear me

-I bypass the Jaguar dealership, and go straight to the used Ford Falcons

-I like my Shirley Temples shaken, not stirred

-When I go to the casino, I always carry a white bucket of coins

-From my back deck, I can see Hoboken

-I wear my teeth in a glass of water

-I have a toilet bowl planter on my front lawn

-Women line up at my house…..to use my restroom

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