You think you had a rough childhood

wpid-wp-1433884258295.jpegI am sure you think had a rough childhood.

Poor little you.

Try my childhood on for  size.

Robbed three banks by the time I was four.

Divorced five times by the age of seven.

Had four kids by six women.

Filed bankruptcy by the age of five.

Murdered three  people at six.

Slept with twelve fashion supermodels, too early to remember when.

Went to alcohol and  drug rehab before  I had my permanent teeth.

Won a million bucks gambling, lost it the next night while wearing Dr. Dentons.

Started writing on this site, 2 and a half.

Published my first book ‘Fear and Loathing in Rochester’ while still breast feeding.

So take that, toughie, call me when you stopped crying.


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