No Shirts and Big Hair

Remember the TV show Cops?  Of course you do, probably still on some channel.

Catchy reggae opening song…sirens blaring.  And some guy getting arrested, cuffed….wearing no shirt.

Every…single…time. NO shirt.  All skinny, very pale (and all with a dangling cigarette).

Now if a slew of patrol cars drive up to my house to break up my meth lab, I will be wearing a shirt. Maybe two.

You just don’t need to see my naked tum.  I have places that most guys don’t have. No need to share THAT with you on national TV. Too much above the belt….

And elsewhere…

Oh…

My.

And then there are the women of Forensic Files. Forensic Files runs for about 20 hours a day on CNN Headline News.

And I watch them all. And every single woman, usually a murder victim, has big, big hair.

Also, probably related, all of these women have spent time in a BADASS bar.

So, BIGHAIRS meet BADASSES for lots of sloppy booze, followed by imminent, gruesome demise?

Seems that way.

I mean who needs a scientist in a white lab coat scraping DNA? Such taxpayer expense!

Just go to the BADASS bar!  Ask 2, 3 questions, case solved!

And you would not need a half hour show. Big Hair death and dismemberment solved in 15 minutes.

So finally, what happens when Big Hair Gal meets no shirt guy?

You really need to ask?

For all you big hair mommas reading this (perhaps two) I apologize for your upcoming gruesome end.

But hear me. That BADASS bar you are pulling into?

Tonight, try Taco Bell instead. And wear a shirt. Trust me.

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