Then he interviews with the local newspaper.
He is going to do three things with the money..
1. Buy a residence at DisneyWorld….hmmmmm, check with your investor on that one, might be OK, could be a disaster, need more info.
2. Help out relatives in trouble….Jesus! How fucking stupid! First, real relatives will already come knocking asking for all sorts of ridiculous dough for many reasons, all translating to the direct purchase of mass quantites of crystal meth.
But, since Mr. Stupid has advertised his willingness to help relatives in the NEWSPAPER, people like me, you know, your cousin Herbie three times removed, will come knocking for a variety of reasons, also translating into meth purchase.
Oh, baby, this guy is soooo dumb.
3. My favorite….he is going to buy dolls for his daughter. Now you know those creepy old ladies from North Carolina trailer parks who used to buy tons of dolls on Home Shopping Network? This girl is apparently a wannabe. And Dad wants to spend millions of bucks on these porcelain ‘collectors edition’ creepoids to make little Sugar Babs happy.
Here’s what you do, Dad. Take the fucking money and stuff it down your toilet. And after you flush, repeat the process.
The only stupider money dude was the pro football player, Pacman Jones, who tossed eighty thousand dollars in a ‘make it rain’ money event at a stripper in a strip club in Florida. You know, the eighty thousand that he now needs, but doesn’t have, to pay his medical bills. (The stripper is now richer than Warren Buffett).
Let me finish by saying that my ex wife was the worst person with money I ever knew. But she is a financial wizard compared to lottery guy and Pacman.
How do these people survive on a daily basis?