The strange case of Bob, Butch and Teeny

When first married, my wife and I spent a lot of time at her parents’ home.  The booze would flow and the stories, often embellished, would be told.

Brother in law Jimmy often told tales about Bob, Butch and Teeny.  It amazed me that three guys could engage in such similar, funny activities.  Along with everyone else, I would laugh out loud.

So, on the ride home, I would replay some of the evening’s activities….

“Hey hon, those three guys are hysterical, aren’t they?”, I asked.

“What are  you talking about?”

“You know, Bob, Butch and Teeny.”

My wife stared at me forever, and finally exploded in laughter. After five minutes of  roll on the floor, teary eyed spasms, my wife spoke….

“It’s not Bob, Butch, and Teeny, you idiot,  it’s Bob Buccantini…it’s only one person, not three”, my wife declared.


As I often do, in such circumstances, I replay the entire story and try to determine where  I went wrong.

OK, three names.  Bob fine of course, as is Butch.  But really, how many dudes are named, or nicknamed Teeny?  That should have raised a flag.

And how many times do THREE DUDES get involved in identical police car chases, a specific woman love issue, or a tear in the crotch of their tennis shorts?  That should have raised a giant flag.

From that point on, we would listen to bro in law talking about the ‘fab 3’ and my wife would hold back an extra level of laughter.  One day, she finally told EVERYONE that I thought Bob was actually three guys.

I reached over, covered my wife’s mouth, but I wasn’t able to stop her.  She told everyone about my stupidity and everyone roared.

Brother in law Jim, being an exceptionally creative dude, went in a different direction in future tellings.  He turned the one Bob into the three guys, in honor of me, and made up all sorts of wonderful, deliriously funny stuff.

Then, one night, Jimmy  announced that the real Bob had died.

How to react?

Expressions of sorrow or rip snorting laughter?

Everyone went silent.  Did not THINK of looking at my wife.

On the ride home that  night, I did mention that we would have to attend three funerals in the upcoming week.

She did not think that was funny.

Here are the ridiculous threesome….


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