The results are in…
And Glamour Magazine has named this year’s WOMAN OF THE YEAR!
And I know what you are thinking….
Perhaps Malala, the fearless Pakistani girl who almost gave her life in the ongoing effort to educate young Muslim women…
Or any of a number of wonderful women doctors working miracles…
Or Mother Teresa types who work both here and overseas to fight famine, filth, and fearmongering..
Or the Duke University professor who took my son under her wing, demanding his best, investing time and energy toward his successful transition into the world of business..
Or how about everyday moms? Working day and night, wiping noses, changing diapers, reading stories, loving, caring, gently disciplining, nudging their children down a path of adult happiness, healthiness, and success..
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US can thinks of dozens of women who richly deserve this award.
In every single case, no one, NO ONE, thought ‘How about giving this award to Bruce Jenner?’
But Bruce Jenner it is.
Did he create a life saving vaccine? No.
Use his law degree to help poor people of color? No.
Maybe he works tirelessly in a soup kitchen without pay to make sure that little poor children get a nutritious meal. No.
‘My God’, you are thinking, ‘he must have done something.’
Aha! I know…It’s because he is a WOMAN!
Bruce is part of the Kardashian clan, famous way back because now deceased dad was best buddies with O J SIMPSON.
That should have warned us.
Famous now because Big Sis performed many sex acts with a man on a now viral internet video.
And all members of the family have taken that video as their guiding influence….all decisions in their lives involve the pursuit of gigantic money, the intense craving of worldwide publicity, and a dedication to moral bankruptcy.
But Jenner was doing this crap nearly fifty years ago…after winning his decathlon event at the Olympics, he walked about the track waving a tiny American flag, which of course led to a zillion endorsements, and he was on TV EVERYWHERE, from game shows to Wide World of Sports.
And because he had to go the way of all celebrities, he decided his young, handsome face had to be plastically surgeonated, making him look more prehistoric caveman than young stud.
With no immediate Olympic medals in sight, Bruce made a smart choice….go girl!
And he did…..and because he did, Glamour Magazine’s editorial staff met on the top floor of their Park Avenue office and decided that, out of the four billion women in the world, ‘it must be him!’
In 2001, a brave woman who died attempting to rescue people at the World Trade Center received the Glamour award posthumously. And her husband was so proud.
Last week, he returned the award to Glamour..
“I find it insulting to Moira Smith’s memory, and the memory of other heroic women who have earned this award,” Smith wrote, according to CNN affiliate WPIX. “Was there no woman in America, or the rest of the world, more deserving than this man?”
With that simple statement, this man nailed it so much better than I did.
One thing to know, that has not been published, is this. The Kardashians paid for this award, in the form of a cash bribe, or an agreement to grace the magazine with their photos and exclusive stories, or some other form of celebrity barter.
Take that to the bank, folks.
Can you imagine being next year’s award winner? Even Sarah Palin would have to be in the final three.
Who would want it? Perhaps Bruce could win two in a row!
Women! Might be time to cancel your Glamour subscription!