Riding in the car with Dad and Uncle Walt at the same time usually occurred while on Cape Cod vacation.
With Dad and Walt in the front, and me in the back, cruising through the village of Harwichport became a Pee Wee Herman sexual misadverture.
Especially if we were cruising during the time when the beaches let out.
Scantily clad honeys, dozens of them, would head down main street toward their weekly rental unit.
And Dad and Uncle Walt would have a ‘secret code’ that they would say when one of them would spot a hottie..
And that word (or non word) was “Eee-full”
At first, confusion on my part…what the hell were they saying??
Didn’t take me long to figure it out.
Heard it from Dad….oooohhh, Dad, a bit young!
Heard it from Uncle Walt…Walt, my man, large and Teutonic!
At first, I was in a bit of shock…I KNEW that Dad only had eyes for Mom, as did Uncle Walt for Aunt Helen.
But then, I thought, this might work out well for a fourteen year old kid. Didn’t have to pay attention to the view till called out. That way, I could admire the stains on my tee shirt, and clean my nails.
Since these afternoon cruises were actually sham trips to the hardware store or the purchase of a newspaper they already had, much auto pollution was expended in this daily routine of lust for teenagers.
And since everybody left the beach at pretty much the same time, around 4 pm, that is when we travelled, and that is when the “EEE-full” chirps made the car sound like a field of crickets.
I have to tell you, my Dad made more meaningless trips in a car, for a million non reasons, then any human on the planet.
And when he got home, Mom never asked him why he was gone so long. Never.
So, I guess Mom was an enabler.
If once, just once, she had said, “Uh, Henry, where have you been?”, the pollution level over Peking today would be but a fraction, and thousands of teenaged girls would be purer, in sort of an eyeball way.
Dad is now in heaven…chirping ” Eee-full” to fellow resident Uncle Walt, while eyeing a cute angel on Cloud nine.
And for eternity!