Hi, I’m Sean Penn, and I know what’s good for you

Pretentious Sean Penn here.

I know what is best for you (as does fellow actor Jim Carrey, who KNOWS that children’s vaccinations are bad for you)…and you need to know that chasing down genocidal war lords is a waste of fucking time.  Won’t solve your kid’s addiction problem.  So leave the poor, cuddly, fuzzy teddy bear alone.

Look at this picture of El Chapo, please…the picture of him in front of hapless policemen’s heads on a stick.  Does this look like the mug of a monster?

The Mexican government now says that they basically followed my  trail to El Chapo’s door, and captured him.  Leading one to believe that it is MY FAULT that fuzzy bear was captured.

Mexicans are lying.  Was not my fault.  Fuzzy bear need not send his beheaders in my direction.  I DID NOT DO THAT!!!

Shitting in my pants.

If my head is found on a stick, I know that my loved ones will care ever so deeply.  Let’s hear from ex wife Madonna…

‘The asshole was lousy in bed.’

(Sweat flowing from every Sean pore)

What’s that sound?  Is that the sound of a car?!!!!  Are they coming???

@@@A note to all actors.  Stick to acting, which you are good at.  Avoid the other crap, which you suck at. When we need brain surgery, we NEVER call the butcher@@

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