I met with the Pope to get approval for my miracle!

Was in a drunken stupor the other night, and thought I heard something about the Pope examining a Mother Teresa miracle for ‘approval’.

Maybe I am wrong.  But isn’t the deal that either you HAVE a miracle or you DON’T HAVE a miracle?  Doesn’t God cover that?

Apparently Mother T. needs this miracle approved…isn’t she already a saint?  Thought she was.

But, you ask, what about my miracles?

I was at a mixed company party last week, and did not pass gas.  Is that not a miracle?

So, I flew to Rome.  And met with the Holiest one.

“Holiest one, it has been ten years since my last confession.”

“Noooooo”, says the Padre, “Theeeese about miracle.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, Father, I was at an all you can eat bean fest, then went to a party of men and women, drank five brewskis, ate a pound of guac, and never chirped once…I ask for your miracle approval”

The Pontiff gives me the mal occhio…”NO WAY JOSE! No chance you a nooo fart!”

Brutal…all this way for nothing!

“Uh, Padre, I have one more miracle proposal…I drove past a sheep farm and maintained pure thoughts.”

“Ha…sheeeeep! All a men unable to resist!”

Bummer!  Left the Vatican despondent and sad.

Hailed a taxi and directed the driver to take me to my country rental.

And then we passed a sheep farm….

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